Cone Zone #2

The Thai military has overthrown the Prime Minister's government. Witnesses say they were surprise attacked and couldn't do anything to thwart the barrage of ping-pong balls fired from extremely long distances.

Hugo Chavez, the President of Venezuela, called President Bush "the devil" in a speech today adding: "The American empire is doing all it can to consolidate its hegemonistic system of domination." When asked what he thought, Bush remarked, "Call me "the devil' all you want, but using words like 'hegemonistic'? That's just not fair."

Best Celebrity Sighting...Ever

Things Crispin Glover did when I saw him today on the subway:

1) Checked Blackberry
2) Wore leather Euro boots
3) Crossed legs
4) Stood at wrong doors of subway until train was at full stop

Things he didn't do:

1) Ask me on a date with notes from a pad
2) Command all the subway rats to attack me
3) Challenge me to an arm wrestle
4) Sing a ditty by Charlie Manson

Thai Coup Haiku aka Thaiku

"Shinawatra's in
New York. Tanks in Bangkok," says
Boonyaratkalin.

Cone Zone Laugh Zone #1

People are up in arms about the trailer for the new Jackass movie which has a clip of what appears to be a beard made of pubic hair. When asked what he thought of the controversy, Michael Jackson said, "What is pubic hair?"

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes finally brought their baby, Suri, into the spotlight for an Annie Leibovitz photo spread in Vanity Fair. Conspicuously absent was the family's beloved test tube.

White House spokesman Tony Snow admitted that there were "three or four sentences" that could be construed as controversial in the President's 17-minute speech last night. It should be noted that Bush's speech writers like to use a lot of commas.

At the box office, Invincible starring Mark Wahlberg continued to draw a strong audience. The film, however, is not getting great reviews in neighborhoods like The Castro in San Francisco and Greenwich Village here in New York. Audience members seemed to be disappointed that the film didn't end with a shot of a giant penis. (Camera to La Bamba.)

In the new issue of Rolling Stone, the editors give Paris Hilton's new album three stars. Apparently she can't get a five-star rating for everything she does with her mouth.

Thought for the day #2

A lot of people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch of unconnected incidents and things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice of coincidence that lays on top of everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean...Suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate of shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in looking for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness. - Miller, Repo Man

Slate asked for a critique of a recent article...

After I read Mr. Rosen’s article and Joe Levy’s five star review in Rolling Stone, I ran to the Best Buy next door to where I work to purchase Modern Times. I did so not, mind you, because both lauded Mr. Dylan with praise, but rather because I was desperate to prove them both wrong.

I was an intern at RS and despise its neglectful eye that shies away from a 20-something audience and instead towards its 50-something post-Woodstock-cum-Wall Street base. Slate seemed to be following in RS’ footsteps, even going as far as quoting Mr. Lethem’s interview.

I was, admittedly, disappointed to find that Modern Times is actually quite good and is better than Love and Theft, as well as Time Out of Mind. I also have to give it to Mr. Rosen for highlighting what Dylan does best: he writes (to borrow his term) spectacular lyrics.

What I won’t agree with is Mr. Rosen’s preponderancy for praise bordering on hero worship. Mr. Dylan should be ashamed that he told Mr. Lethem he hasn’t heard a quality recording in 20 years. He must not be listening. And neither is Mr. Rosen. Comparing Mr. Dylan’s voice to the crooners of the 30s is heresy. He is an old man with an old voice that is anything but spectacular. Johnny Cash is most certainly rolling over in and bellowing throughout his grave with his latter-day voice that was worthy of merit.

Modern Times is a very good album, but it’s one that doesn’t even breach Dylan’s top ten and most certainly does not touch dozens of albums made in the last 20 years.